I hope your all well and have been doing great things. As per me I’m doing ok. My brain fog has been a little more manageable today but it is still there in the background. I think it is getting worse some what and it’s still very present today. I think just doing things a little more slowly and having more breaks is the best thing to do when it happens like this.
So yes it’s coming up to ‘Songtember’ and I’m super excited. I have been thinking about what I may do for it. It would also be great to hear everybody else’s music too.
As per me today I’m going to go and relax now, I’m a little bushed and it’s time for me to finish work for the day. I’m going to have some drinks and celebrate the great things in my life. I’m really happy with how things are going with me, great times indeed.
So anyway have a great rest of your week and enjoy what you do with whatever you get up to everybody. Also it’s ‘ok to step away’. Something of which I’ll be doing for the remainder of this week too. I cancelled all my workers this week and I’m on break for the rest of this week! So yes yay for break-time!!
I can feel the warmer weather is coming and I love the smell of cut grass and mower fuel when I open my balcony door, Spring is coming hehe!
Catch you all again sometime, all the best and keep rocking! and I’m out of here.
I’m just jumping in here quickly I have been having really bad episodes of brain fog yesterday mostly. It’s really crippling and I don’t know when I’ll get better. It’s a little better this morning but still not great.
Anyway I’ll keep you updated with how I go with that moving forwards.
I took this photo on the weekend of my guitars hehe. When they are not being used they live in my bedroom. And yes that’s not my dirty laundry haha.
Anyway have a great week everybody. I do hope I get better soon, it’s such a struggle that is for sure. Songtember and Spring is coming soon too, yay!
I am just enjoying some great music from Metal Shack – “Begin Again” song. and I can hear people cutting their grass and the smell of mower fuel and cut grass. I have opened my apartment door out to the balcony. The warmer weather is coming! I’m having so much fun right now and all my work is finished for the week. So yes I’m having tomorrow off.
It’s right on my happy hour for this Thursday and I am loving my life! I’m just about to have some drinks – happy, happy hour everybody. It’s right on 4pm now, my happy hour 4-6pm. Everything in my life just clicks! Have a great weekend everybody – and I’m out of here.
First up over the last 4/5 days I have been working on a new song. It has been so much fun making it, and everything in it has been made by myself. I have got lots of use out of my Arturia Keyboard lately, which has been very good indeed. So much fun, I think so.
So yes the song is called “Voices in My Head” and it’s a song about how mental illness has effected me over the years. You can find the lyrics below.
So yeah been having some fun with my synth and keyboard / controller. The song also has some heavy guitar in it too. You can full stream my song on my Bandcamp site if you can’t wait till it goes up on all stores like Spotify, iTunes and Google Play. Check out my new song here: https://ashleyhm.bandcamp.com/track/voices-in-my-head
So yes all good things to report today. With me things are going pretty well in my world and I have just snuggled down at my desk with the heater on right now, G it’s still pretty cold. Mmm lovely warm heater hehe.
So enjoy my new song, I hope you all like it, I got so much enjoyment out of making it! Have a great rest of your week everybody, and all the best – Ashley.
I’m having a bit of a difficult-down day today and I’m not sure when that will change. I’m feeling really down on myself. I think it’s due to the pizza I bought late this afternoon and having some of it. it has brought on the brain fog really quickly after eating some of it, so what’s left may go in the bin. My body doesn’t like it at all, and I was on the verge of breaking a new personal weight goal for tomorrow.
Anyway it is what it is. But I guess the big positive that has come out of today is that I can most definitely say my brain fog is attributed causation with eating bad foods and not getting enough good nutrition. Also I think even though I went outside by myself and on my own may have added to it but I’m not sure. Finally I have that answer, I did suspect it had something to do with that. Things are mobilising in such a negative way in these last few days. I have lots of food related questions for my Dr Nutritionist. A little sad and down on myself if anything, but it concerns me that I still don’t know why I turned to that kind of food.
I think, I feel that maybe that food has given my body something to do and in need to heavy metabolise it but it’s really not great. I feel now that it feels bad to waste it and my money, but the rest of it has gone in the bin. The reason for buying the pizza, I’m not sure what that was. I was out shopping today on my own, on a Sunday of all days and I think some old habits re-surfaced. Like me saying ‘I’m out now may as well get something to eat’. First time I’ve gone shopping on my own for ages -like in 6 months. Stupid lazy Alisha thinking, anyway so upset with myself right now grrrr. I had fish in the freezer too, such a negative setback that is for sure. I feel like saying ‘Your terrible Muriel’ – ‘Your terrible Alisha’ – Hahahahaha. Somewhere I can still find the humour in it.
What to think of what has just happened has made me really upset – I still don’t know why I bought it.
Anyway onto something more positive. I got to doing some things around my apartment today, like putting away clothes and sorting clothes into my drawers and I also re-arranged my work desk. So yes it feels good to have more room on my desk where my compy was. (See photo below).
Anyway to be honest I don’t think too much damage was done with my weight. It’s up a bit now but I also have to let go and except that this has happened and move on. The last 2 months I have been really strict and not checking much of my weight loss or gain hasn’t come to my mind much. Also with all the exercise I’ve been doing is really great news on the whole.
Have a great rest of your Sunday everybody – and I’m out of here.
Hi everybody! it’s a lovely sunny Saturday today just gorgeous.
I have a photo today I’d like to share that was taken last year. I was pretty skinny then and I’m trying to get back to that as drug treatment side-effects made me put on weight, but yes happy I’m off that shit, that is for sure.
So yes I’ll be checking in with my weight again sometime maybe next week or the week after if I have any progress. It’s kind of stabilising right now and is a little stagnant, but yes I’ll keep you updated with that. I’m trying to beat the 92.0kg barrier haha.
Anyway have a great weekend and I’ll catch you all again soon!
I visited Edwardes Lake Park in Reservoir – Melbourne today with my worker.
It was such a fun day out with my camera, lovely sunny weather and we had McDonalds afterwards, I really enjoyed myself! It’s been a while since I have had this much fun!! and I have now been able to get out again as per covid lockdown and winter weather lately. I took a photo of Glady’s bin chicken haha and a couple of other photos that I like too from today. Have a great weekend, and Happy Friday – Party!!
I’m going now to have some drinks and wind down at the end of my working week. It’s my happy hour now on this Friday it’s 4:36pm right now. – and I’m out of here.
Hi everybody, on the verge of Friday tomorrow. It’s right on 5:50pm right now on my lovely Thursday.
First up, I want to delve in closer at what is working and not working in my world and a little review on how I’m doing, so today is my checkpoint time of the year.
Overall things are going extraordinarily great in my life and my world. I keep busy and enjoy doing my creative outlets. Also checking in with workers, my treating team and NDIS to review how I’m going. I believe that people just have to help Alisha a bit and she will do great things. I love this confidence in myself that has been dearly earned. In the pursuit of perfection and doing well in my world hasn’t come without sacrifice, hard work and dedication!
As I see it, I’m doing pretty well and I’m learning how to maximise my time in this world. I have come from such a dark place for most of my life and things as everyday passes gets better and brighter with me! My weight has stabilised from drug-treatment side-effects and I have great sleep and good energy and nutrition from my healthy food intake. My brain fog is less so these days which is also very good news and I’m slowly healing and recovering from the hardships in my past as per 2 years ago.
From trauma, heavy drug use, ice and heroin and horrific memories and nightmares comes a time now in my life where that is becoming a distant memory. Struggles in myself have been horrific and crippling for my mental health and going forwards in my life. Such a contrast of prosperity and wellness in these current times to that of my old lifetime, if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me and how far I’ve come and all the challenges that were, is just epic in all regards!
I’m a strong believer in learning from my past and how I can help myself for the future. The defiant and determined Alisha, will never die and she will fight to the end. My life is a story of survival and taking control of my life. Currently I’m enjoying everything me, everything I do and everything that I am that has made me who I am today.
In summary I am now expert in myself and am ever more knowledgeable seeking in my psych history and for getting better and better understanding of the self. It’s been a long journey and I can now see the rewards that have been hard learnt and hard earned for myself in these new times, for my friends and family and workers that have to put up with me right? haha, thanks for believing in me! I feel only now mental illness is being truly understood and people can be genuinely and effectively helped and repaired for a better quality of life.
In closing thanks to everybody for believing in me, it’s been a hard road to recovery. I can now see the light and positivity in my life, and my world that I now know, and that right now the best of Alisha is now here and here to stay!!
– Written by Alisha, 29-07-2021.
Happy TGI Friday tomorrow everybody, have a great weekend!
Hi everybody, it’s now officially the tail end of the week, yay!! I’m having some drinks now and enjoying myself hehe. All my work is finished for the day, it’s 10:28pm right now hehe. So I finished up work a little bit later today.
I made this ditty today. Zombies are real!! ..just you all wait!! haha. I have been having some zombie creating fun today with my compy hehe. It was so much fun making this. (See image below). It’s like an old game / adventure drawing, with the pixel look hehe.
As per me, I’m going ok. I actually have been feeling a little down today, I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m just a little tired, worn-out and run-down, I have been pretty busy, I must say.
I have a potato cooking in my microwave right now, a late night meal hehe. Yum!! Slurp!!
So yes I’m going to go and have some drinks and relax now. Have a great weekend everybody!!